Around quarter to twelve (midnight) my sister and I was about to sleep, I went off from our PC so my sister could use it for a while to check some of her notifications on Facebook, I walked to the kitchen to grab some milk and took my medicine, after that I brushed my teeth, went to bed and checked my phone to see if I have new text messages. apparently, I have no load that time and I didn't get to reply my friend's text since im not drowsy enough to sleep, I checked my Facebook on phone and i received a notification from my Cousin, She tagged me in a post that says,
My first reaction was.... Really? I'm gonna be on a ramp? Seriously?!!! At first I was excited and nervous at the same time because I'm gonna be a part of world's fashion history, (The New Glorietta Vibe) cause they're tryna beat a world record even if were gonna wear vibe shirts only unlike my cousin Steph. cause she'll be wearing a clothing that is branded cause she was the picked winner from a said contest from AVA.
So I told my cousin "yes I will come if my sister could come too & if only my mom would allow us". So yea that night I talked to my sister about that Ramp on The New Glorietta Vibe and the call time for tomorrow is 6 am then we will meet up with our cousins at Trinoma afterwards, we prepared the stuff we should bring & what heels should we wear & I even practiced a few steps in our room.
at 2am my sister slept & set an alarm on my phone. I was lying on my bed and thinking,
-Will my mother allow us to come?
-What will I look for tomorrow?
-I know i'm gonna look awkward while everyone looks fab...
-Should the people accept the way I look? ( my body type thin & small? .__.)
-Will they let me ramp cos I may be mistaken as a kid?
-I know my cousins and my sister would look great cause they're all tall & pretty unlike me...
-Will I be late?.... (cause i'm here wasting my time overthinking..... instead of sleeping to look fresh for tomorrow)
but there's a little voice in my head says that..... I KNOW YOU'D STILL LOOK NICE (just nice) FOR TOMORROW. YOU MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST NOR THE TALLEST LADY ON EARTH. Well, I still have a little positivity inside of me even though i'm a pessimist ;)
By 5am we woke up. Mom gaves us the permission to go and i just discerned that I wasn't excited after all cause Im feeling so inferior. my subconscious is screaming out loud that I shouldn't go I should just stay here and stay infront on my PC all day but I already said yes to my cousins so i gotta do this thing! :S By 6 am, I thought we were gonna be late cause MRTs are so full cause it was still closed. The line was too long from the 1st floor to 4th floor it was so full of people, we waited for about 30 mins and we were really late, so me & my cousins decided to meet at Glorietta instead of Trinoma as the said meet up place.
As we reached Glorietta, we saw the big time kids, male & female stunning models, The rich, sophisticated & classy people, some various celebrities The sponsor of the said clothings & etc; I suddenly felt like i'm inside a magazine cause almost everyone is tall & flawless. The host ordered the models to line up to their said clothing line, So we seperated with Steph for awhile cause she's gonna be modelling for The Ramp Crossings while Stacey, Tina & I will be modelling for The Vibe.
The line started accepting sign up sheets for the vibe models. My companions already signed up for the event while I was there standing looking at them. They called me "go ahead & sign up already were done" and i told them "no i won't sign up, I've changed my mind" (cause deep inside I have felt that im not suite for this, I'm not a model, I don't even qualify to be a model, I don't have that required beauty & height, I don't have confidence, I hate wearing make up!, I don't like dressing up & wearing heels with high inches cause it makes me walk dumb) they asked me "why is it so?" and I told them that "I'm feeling very shy & discriminated." so they tried to cheer me up they told me "no it's okay this is gonna be fun don't feel like that we have each others back you don't have to feel that way and tita's not around you'll be lonely and hungry all day & night if you don't come & sign that up" So for the sake of hunger and boredom I finally signed up the sheet against my will.
At rehearsal time we strolled the mall and went to the restroom, we changed from flats to heels, then a minute had passed my feet are already hurting and my walk is getting silly & funny while my companions are enjoying the feeling of wearing high heels. So i changed to flats urgently. We didn't get the chance to practice up stage and my anxieties are attacking again its a good thing that my cousins & my sister didn't go either so the benefit is all mine haha. Instead we just watched the other models do the catwalk on stage. My cousin Steph did our make up by the stairs near our holding area and the staff gave our lunch.. So I was looking around the seats If there's somebody here same as me, not too tall, not-so-model-look and etc like that. Well, I saw a few of em. I kinda feel delighted cause i was not the only short person here, though I know this is a bad frame of mind but i know there's still something in them that lacks me a lot and it is confidence cause my confidence level is zero :))) AND SEE HOW THEY WEAR THOSE HIGH HEELS? THEY CAN HANDLE AND BRING IT ANYWHERE unlike me lol what a pathetic loser =)))))))))))))
Around 1-3pm we were so bored waiting for the vibe to give us our shirt so while waiting we wandered around the mall our make up was fading cause it was on our faces for like 5 hours i guess
me & my cousins went to mercury drug to retouch and i'm glad that my friend Chelley had called cause I really need someone to talk to.At 4-5pm we finally received our vibe shirts we wore it and it was too damn large so to make it look good the other models and my sister cutted her shirt to make it look edgy and fashionable. While I didn't cut mine cause I don't wanna waste the shirt :)) I just folded it and tucked it in. I pretty much looked like a hanger and a weird girl wearing that xxl vibe shirt lol but i dont care cause I always looked that way haha so I switched to heels again to fit in with the other models cause this is a fashion show; I forced myself to change just only for now. The staff finally gave us the early dinner and we met a few people around us, It was Jenna and her two other friends.. We chit chatted a little. Jenna told us that he's guy friend also had the same course that I have BSBA Internal Auditing leading to BSA at FEU but now on his second year. After, we went to mercury drug AGAIN to prep ourselves and we walked to Steph's holding area to help us fix our make ups. As we get back to our seat there were Male & Female (couple) JAG models ( i pretty much think they're brazillians though) and they asked us if they can sit beside our chair.
I was really having a hard time wearing heels even for a minute. My feet would rather walk in barefoot than in heels so i decided changed back it again to flats x))))))))) Cause my feet couldn't stand it. IM NOT GOING TO EMBARRASS MYSELF WITH THIS STUPID HEELS hahaha So finally by 7pm the show is about to start we fell in line outside at the back stage and my heart starts pumpin 10000x faster than my normal heart beat. We, The vibe models were the first to ramp onstage lucky! Cause we don't need to wait, I don't want to carry this tenstion for a long time and I want this to finish cause I really want it to be over =)))))))))))))
During our line at the backstage we saw alot of celebrities near us. Bret & Ivan from PBB, Hayden Kho, Denise Laurel, Bubbles Paraiso, some celebrities from starstruck, Billy Crawford, Bianca Gonzalez and etc the other models were taking pictures with them while me & my cousins are standing ang waiting for the program to begin.
After my cousin's ramp, It's now my turn to walk on stage I was the 539th model out of the 2255 models( I think). I stepped the first stair wearing my flats & carrying a lot of emotions inside of me. I was really feeling high-strung cause i didn't get a chance to rehearse earlier but it's okay i know God will guide me :) as I get out of the curtains I didn't look at the crowd I just stared at a one particular object and I walked confidently and i even felt my hair swaying to the good background music I forgot everything that I had in my mind. I did a little simple pose at the end (though i think i look humiliating) cause it was required lol =))) I memembered The staff said "At the end of the stage it's your time to shine, strike a pose, do whatever you want, If you want to look fierce with mouth open you may do it" :))
Actually in that 10 seconds of my life. I enjoyed it :)
I KNOW MODELLING ISN'T MY PASSION AND IT IS THE LAST THING ON MY LIST THAT I WOULD DEFINITELY DO BUT IT WAS A GREAT UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE.
Sometimes it's okay to try different things. I'm really not into fashion and my girlfriends from high school know that very well. I still remember the way my gay friend laughs at the way I wear he told me "I know what you'll wear for Halloween a shirt and a pair of jeans" lol x)) Gladly, I had girlfriends who advises me what to wear and fix up the way I look if there's an occasion or events at school :) But Id always prefer wearing sweaters, hoodies, shirts, jeans, flats and sneakers than fancy glittery & silky gowns, high heels, elegant clothes and other kinds of fashion blahs hahaha
at the back of my encephalon, I really don't know If I just made my self stand out of the crowd or did i just embarrassed myself? Hahahaha here goes the pessimistic thoughts again ;)
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